Confront your demons

Hi bloggers

This post might seem a bit heavy on a philosophical level but bear with it all.

As you know I popped into work (Fleetlands) yesterday and whilst there was initially "blanked" by one of my colleagues as he didn't recognise me, due to my weight and hair loss (Chemotherapy). My retort was to say that if he kept up to date with my blog or better still visited me (He hasn't yet) then he would be in the know. Another colleague piped up that they have visited, so there!

On my way home I actually got to thinking about this and its now been more than one hundred and fifty days since my diagnosis and announcement at work of my condition. You may feel that a ratio of one visit in this period is fine (My other colleague did obviously) or you may feel that a bit bit more effort could be apparent.

I have lost count of the amount of guys I have met who have assured me that they will visit and then shoot through on me. It is not my intention to lambaste individuals here but provide some social comment in that maybe our society as a whole perhaps could do with greater scrutiny with regard to our attitudes to this.

Cancer is a touchy subject for many of us.

http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/CancerType

The statisticians tell us that at least one in three will be affected by it at some point in our lives, so many of us will come across it and need to deal with its effects either as a patient, carer, or supporter.

http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/resourcessupport

Although there are many areas of support, both on a practical and emotional level, available it is still incumbent upon the individual to provide the impetus for these supportive attributes.

Indeed many of us find the mention and the confrontation of Cancer both in our society and in our personal lives, as extremely uncomfortable. It reminds us of our own mortality and fallibility and stikes at the very core of our Psyche.

Again as a defence mechanism, if we refuse to confront this issue and others in this arena, then they will not affect us, so we will be safe. We like to justify our feelings and existence and feel good about ourselves; and the culture of "Being Busy "in Modern Britain tends to pigeonhole subjects In this way. Here then we can sub concsciously categorise our visits into this arena with clarity and succinctness into such as duty done or responsibility addressed, and once "a tick in the appropriate box is achieved" due to a successful visit or a donation to a street collection where we purchase, then wear, our ribbon, then the subject and the perpetrator's interaction and responsibility regarding it can be comfortably discharged with no further thought to the matter. Sorted!

http://www.pinkribbonfoundation.org.uk/

On a personal note, I have have been shocked and surprised by the unsolicited messages, e mails and cards showing support. Many from people whom I did not expect, (they have been so very, very kind, and there can only be one reason for this - altruistic and unconditional love!).

Equally I Have been disappointed by the behaviour of some colleagues, friends, and family from whom I expected, perhaps, a bit more. (Again one visit in one hundred and fifty days provides an example).

Such is the fragility of the human nature and ego, bloggers. I realise that you do not visit or contact me due to the way I am or feel about all of this; but partly because of your own fears and worries on this subject . However referring back to the statistics maybe we surely need to revise our attitudes in this area. I have tried via this blog to keep as many of you as aware as is possible and hope that my style of text is both entertaining and at the same time informative, so that it still provides you with a clear message.

For what goes around comes around so they say and the emotional care aspect of all of this would be better placed by us taking responsibility for our thoughts and feelings, and returning them to the centre of our society again rather than them being comfortably outsourced to another area like McMillan or any of the other organisations, and thus forgotten.

So bloggers as I said at the beginning, my point for all of this was not to pick on individuals but to stimulate self questioning and awareness amongst you. Please examine yourself with regard to your stance and involvement to all of this and ask yourself those soul searching questions as to whether you are justifying your viewpoint on these issues.

Is it enough to wear your breast cancer awareness ribbon or should you get more involved, or at least more educated, with this subject, and your treatment of those for whom this is a part of everyday life.

Time to get off the soapbox methinks
(If you want some more highbrow stuff let me know)
talk soon
Stevie T